So, as you remember from my award winning post “Thanksgiving“, apparently the drama of the week is getting photographs of the happy couple (barf) for their memory glass…ahem, I mean, the collage. (if you think my frustration level has gone down from that post, just wait)

So, just to recap, when we last left our heroes, a request was made for photos:

hey guys-

thank you to all the girls who got back to me…but i have very few
pictures of Lowell…so PLEASE send me some, email or mail if you’d like.
i am going to put it all together sunday night, help is welcome- email me
and let me know if you are around to help, if you need my address or if
you have any questions

(sorry to harass you but i want to get as many pictures as i can!)

Please try to remember, this was also hoola hoop girl, so we shouldn’t be that surprised. She’s also bringing bobby socks for all of the bridesmaids to put on their feet (matching the horrendously colored bridesmaid’s dresses, of course.

Then, thank god (!!), a few of her friends were able to come to the rescue:

“I can e-mail you pictures this weekend - well i’ll try to.”

“Sending tonight”

“What a great idea! I’m SO sending you some tonight! (and would LOVE to help)”

Oh. My. God. (try to stay calm. Breathe. don’t get angry…)

Then I woke up this morning:

last call for pictures– i still really do not have a lot of lowell so
PLEASE help!!!!!

ps- thanks again to everybody who has already sent me some!!

That last part was in its own email. This, of course, was after I received a phone call on Wednesday morning from the author there. Here’s a short transcription of the conversation:

Josh: Hello? (groggy voice)
Caller (ridiculously high pitched, Bring-it-on-esque voice): Hi-yeee!
Josh (after a moment, neither recognizing the voice nor the number): Yes? Can I help you?
Caller: Oh, right,… so, my name is (her name) and I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am about this wedding, aren’t you?
Josh: Dear god, its 6:46am, what could you possibly want?
Caller: Its 6:46? No its not, its 7:46?
Josh: Yes, where you are, perhaps. I’m in Houston.
Caller: Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (note: I’m possibly exagerating there, she might have only used 14 exlamation points! But back to our action) Is that in another time zone or something?

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I’m dealing with a mental midget! (It was at this point that I realized I must have been talking to one of the bridemaids. She had that certain quality that made me want to reach through the phone and strangle the life out of her that I love so much in people. Little did I know what was to come…)

Josh: Yes, the Central Time Zone. Can I help you with something?
Caller: Ooooh, riiiight! (think “Quit Yelling We’re Jellin’ to say that line”)
Josh (after a moment): Yes, there are other parts of this country besides New York.
Caller: I knooowww I was on Wheels!
Josh: Of course you were. So, back to the part about it being early and me not having been awake before this call…
Caller: Yeah….(pause)….(seriously, it might have been a good 4 or 5 seconds)…(feeling blood pressure rise)…So, I’m working on the (memory glasses) collage, and I wanted to know if you had any pictures you could send me. It would mean soooooo much to us.
Josh (dryly): By us, of course you meant you, (the bride), and (the groom), who don’t know about it yet?
Caller: Yeah! isn’t it great!?! (I really can’t even begin to describe how this sounded like nails against a chalkboard at this exact moment)
Josh (dryly with anger): Are you married yet?
Caller: No.
Josh: are you seeing anyone?
Caller: Yeah! he’s super cute. (I want to throw up now)
Josh: Awesome. Did he like this idea? (and does he het a headache whenever you speak to him?)
Caller: Actually, I never asked him.
Josh (trying to finish this conversation now): Of course you didn’t. Okay, list, I need to be getting up now to work on my job. Do you have a job?
Caller: No, I’m a grad student.
Josh: Of course you are. Well, why don’t you go back to your studies, which clearly you’re focusing on, and I’m…
Caller (crestfallen): But, the photos…
Josh (unable to control it now): I’M IN HOUSTON!!!! What would I do to get them to you? Should I have Rosalita send them to you? Because, you know she organizes all of my photos by both date and participant??

Wouldn’t it have been great there if she would have fallen for the bait there?

Caller: Alright, I get it. Thanks for your help. (You would have thought I punched her right in the face, and of course, shattered the memory glass too)
Josh: Have a good day.
Caller: See you in two weeks!
Josh: Not if I see you first.
Caller: ooh, that was a good one. Mind if I use it?
Josh: Please do. call it a freebie.
Caller: You’re great. Thanks! Byeeeee!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!! I thought this only happened in movies!! I hate the world.