So, as many of you know, I am in Florida this weekend (which, I just found out was a holiday weekend. Guess that’s what happens when you work for an organization that doesn’t give off for more than a few national holidays a year), and I have to say, I love it down here. Yesterday, I came in from 40 degree weather in Boston to 80 degree weather, but even better, got to ride in the “Slick Willy PIMP mobile” of a Volvo C70. No, wait, I can’t call it that. THIS is the PIMP mobile. My grandmother bought this after she sold her even OLDER version of the SAME EXACT CAR!!!!

But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back. So, I flew out of boston on a 6:20 am flight. It should have been early enough so I wouldn’t get delayed, right? WRONG! Apparently there was a storm flying through MA that delayed us by 45 minutes. Now, in and of itself, that shouldn’t have been a problem for my connection in Charlotte, I’m told. We’ll get in with plenty of time. Plenty of time apparently being defined as five minutes after the flight left. Yes, you read that correctly. My flight (along with 15 of my compatriots who were more pissed than I was. They were going to a Jack-and-Jill party–more on that later too) landed 5 minutes before the connection was scheduled to leave, but rather than ask that flight to hold up by 5 minutes, they let that flight leave ahead and PARKED US IN THEIR NEWLY FREED UP GATE!!!!! (signs of sarcasm will include excessive use of exclamation points) So, now I’m late, but that’s okay, that shouldn’t screw up my plans too much.

Here’s an email from my dad that I received the morning of my flight:

josh’s flight 505 from charlotte to fort laud arrive around 1130am/ terminal 3/concourse E

Mom:

you will arrive in terminal 1 at approx 1045am/ cross the street to the lower level of the garage and look for the tram/ take it to terminal 3 and find the security exit for terminal 3 concourse E

Sister:

you will arrive terminal 3 concourse E at about 1016am/ find the security exit and wait for mom/ she should be there [if on time] about 11-1115am/

Josh: you will arrive as shown above/ exit the concourse and find mom and laurie

i’ll be there as close to 1130am as i can based upon how long the cleaning people take to clean the house/ they start at 8am

any questions you can call me or type in “fort lauderdale international airport in the search line and look at the website

dad

(yes, I really do receive emails like this. Both in telegraph style, and with marching orders from dad aka “General Turnof”)

Obviously, my delay WOULD screw up my instructions from Turnof HQ. So, I called Admiral Turnof at Starfleet Headquarters, and he agreed that he’d bring the USS P.I.M.P. to get me.

So, after having a filling breakfast in unquestionably the smokiest restaurant I’ve ever been in (should I be surprised? I was in Marlboro country), I finally got onto my plane next to the members of the Jack-and-Jill party. So, onto what that party is, well, apparently its when both the groom and his side, and the bride and her side all go party together somewhere to get better acquainted. Alright, well that seemed like fun. It especially seemed like fun since they were going to Key West. I told them I’d meet them at Ramrod, the first bar they were going to.

Luckily, Charlotte had free internet, so I was able to download my email. Here is my sister’s response to Commendante Turnof’s email:

Will I get my kit and study group assignment when I arrive too? I’m calling my mom if I don’t like my bunk…

Dad–You are HILARIOUS!!

Gotta love my family. Finally, I arrived, and everyone was well in swing of picking on the Leftenant. After spending a few hours of family things, and going to see Grandma, we went out to dinner at the Beverly Hills Cafe (that’s where I want to be…living in Beverly Hills…), and came home. Now, Dad hadn’t joined us for the afternoon, because he had to go to a golf scramble selection show (imagine NFL Draft, only less interesting). The only thing that made it more fun for us was that when he came home, he had a name badge. Laurie, not waiting even a beat, asked him if he also got those flags that hang from the bottom of different colors (green means you go to this study group, blue means you ‘re jewish — amusing considering its Boca Raton, Black means you’re a low handicapper). Good times, good times.

finally, the night ended up with us watching one episode of Entourage, and my dad saying “This is comedy? if I wanted to watch this, I’d just go back to the Bronx”. Riiiight, sure you would.

Alright, this morning, the comedy didn’t quite continue at the frantic pace it had from yesterday. That’s okay though. I got to play golf, and well, it just keeps getting better when I play golf. I had 21 golf balls, and hadn’t played in about 3 months. There were 18 holes. Doing all that GMAT math I’d worked so hard on, it meant I’d have 3 balls left if I lost one per hole (I set high standards for myself). Well, after spending 10 holes working on a streak of losing ONLY one ball per hole, I finally challenged the course, 3 holes left and 7 balls remaining. “Let’s go course, its just you and me…and, you know, my dad in his birthday present.” (more on that in a moment.)

So, I came up to one of the more challenging holes on the course. This is the hole that has Lake Stealsmyball (its a Native American name). As gorgeous as it is, it barely even compares to Lake Alwaysf#cksitup with the fountain right in the middle. But, I did it. I survived all three holes, and only lost 1 ball over the last holes.

Now, as for that birthday gift. Yeah, he bought himself a customized golf cart. It says our name on the front and his and my mom’s name on the sides. I’m finding it really hard NOT to get flames detailed on the side. You think someone would do that?

Alright, well, that’s all from here for now. Dont’ worry, I imagine there will be PLENTY more.

for now, show love for the P.I.M.P mobile.
Peace out!