Update: I posted this originally on July 8, 2004.
I forgot to mention a while ago, I did get a response form the NPR Correspondent that I sent the letter to. Here is the essence of the letter:
I’m sorry that you didn’t like it, and I appreciate your point about the ugly duckling who became beautiful by relinquishing his individuality.
I was pleased she wrote back to me, and I’m not sure what more she could have or should have said. I wasn’t awed (or shocked) .
I have been a fervent supportor of NPR for awhile now. And I cut them some slack for what some call their moving toward the right reporting. I did hear a report yesterday morning that made me sad — because of the way it was reported. It was called Remembering Specialist Jeremy Heines
and you can listen to it if you scroll down to the link. It prompted me to write a letter to Morning Edition. Here’s what I wrote:
As a great defender of NPR, I was saddened by Susan Roesgen’s piece on Army Specialist Jeremy Heines who died in Iraq which aired on Wednesday, July 7th. Roesgen spoke of him as a misfit high school student who was likeable but freakish because he had blue hair and wore Marilyn Manson t-shirts. The implication of the piece was that once he joined the army and comformed, he was “fixed” by this overwhelmingly positive change. It made me sad because it is indicative of the very conservative time we are living in where conformity is seen as a desired goal and a choice to have blue hair is seen as a deficiency. I wonder, since he is now dead, if the army was really was such a positive change in his life. I was surprised that Morning Edition played such an unconsciously judgmental piece that was basically about the ugly duckling, only the duckling became beautiful by wearing a duck suit.
I’d also heard a piece recently that dealt with the way soldiers deal with killing someone up close during war — the healthy and unhealthy ways to deal with it. The healthy way to deal with it that was presented was to think of it as “kill or be killed.” The unhealthy way was to feel remorse and guilt (to the point of it affecting lifestyle). Isn’t there a happy medium? Shouldn’t we take ethics into consideration? Something just seemed very wrong with that report. This report is Psychological Impact of Killing in Battle from March 30, 2004.
So basically, I am slowly being disillusioned about NPR. Please NPR, don’t leave me!
September 13th, 2004 at 9:59 AM
I am Spc. Jeremy Heines’s cousin. I was really a bit lost and decided to read some of his memorials again when I came across this writing. You are maybe half right. I do believe the way that they portrayed him as a “high school misfit” or “freakish” was horrible. The army didn’t change any part of that in him and it never does. When a soldier comes back they still like what ever they liked before, be it blue hair, or marylin manson. Jeremy was my idol and I can sometimes, still in highschool, be labelised as “gothic”. The army did him some good though because he realised he wanted to settle down and start his life; he gained a new sense of responcibility really. He met the love of his life at Fort Hood; Texas. I miss him dearly and if liking to be unique is a freakish quality then so be it because he never changed away from being unique and neither will I. I love and miss him very much.
September 13th, 2004 at 1:37 PM
KR — thanks for commenting and providing some insight. I appreciate your thoughts. I had a feeeling there was more to him than “reformed freak” — there usually is more to the story. I am very sorry for your loss. Being a former “goth”-type myself, I understand what goes into such choices of standing out of the main stream. I never like to hear of anyone being reduced to such a term as “freakish” for any reason, particularly such superficial reasons. Good luck with your soul search.
-Heidi
September 13th, 2004 at 1:37 PM
Thank you for taking the time to write something here. I’m very sorry for your loss and I hope that the memorials around the web are bringing you some comfort. Regardless of how we feel about the war or politics or the President, our thoughts are with the soliders out on the front lines.
November 8th, 2004 at 12:39 PM
It has been about 2 month since I wrote that comment. Getting by has been easier but I of course still miss and love him. I wanted to add something to that comment. I am the way I am today because of jeremy. He would never change me or that for any reason, in fact I think he would be proud for finding myself and my personality. And again the term “freakish” would have never crossed his mind but as being as easy going as he was.. he would have laughed and I believe we should as well. Laugh it off, ignore it, and be you. Just be you.
Rememberance and love for Jeremy
November 9th, 2004 at 4:49 PM
Thanks for commenting again. And I couldn’t agree more with you. We are who we are — let’s embrace it and honor some very special “feaks” who have touched our lives. Where would I be without Jack Kerouac, Ahrundati Roy, Mark Rothko, JD Salinger, and so many other “freaks”. Thanks again, Kasey.
November 23rd, 2004 at 11:51 PM
This is the problem so many people have today; we are so concerned with being “politically correct” we don’t stop to ask or think what do the recipients of our correctness think or feel.
I am a “freak” I like goth and metal; play dungeons and dragons; and read comic books. I also am a Father of two beautiful children and a registered voter and make no apologies for my political views or spiritual ideaology. In my mind PC stands for Personal Computer and nothing else I have TOO many friends that could be labeled words that many people consider “politically incorrect” and NONE of them remotely care if anyone comes to their aid by saying things like “you should not say that word it might offend them” because many of the people who say that are only trying to make themselves feel better about their own inadequacies or to cover up their own racism or bigotry.
Call me Freak! call me nerd! that way NOONE has any disallusion about who they are talking to or about! The problem only lies in definition which is suspect to every single individual. You all out there have friends that pick on you at times..Don’t you? Do they HATE you?
No they don’t! They would not be your friend would they? Instead it is a funny way of showing love. But Reporters who address a broad spectrum audience do not specifiy that Jeremy or his friends SELF-Identify as “Freaks” and that is a good thing because they chooose it just like me and my friends. Don’t rescue me from myself. In the name of all that you out there keep sacred Develope your own resistance for social bacteria of epithets. My immune system works just fine and so do too many people I know and respect.
Sticks and Stones people….Sticks and stones.
November 24th, 2004 at 11:15 AM
Mickey — Thanks for your comment, and I’m glad we seem to agree on this one. My beef is not with necessarily calling him a “freak”, but that the army “fixed” him, as if being a freak meant something were wrong with him. I’ve always used the term “punk” as a badge of honor, even though oh so many use it as a negative term. And coming from a crappy suburb of Buffalo, very working class, very dysfunctional, lots of my friends were being aided by the department of social services for a variety of reasons, etc., “harshing” on each other in an affectionate way was our way, as well. Before I get into too long of a personal biography about my perennial issue of leaving Buffalo for “greener” pastures, even if it is astroturf, let it suffice to say, I’m glad we agree on this one, fellow freak, nerd, and dork. Oh wait — you didn’t mention being a dork. I’m that, too.
December 1st, 2004 at 6:18 PM
I am Jeremy Heines’s younger sister. I just came across this page, I just wanted to add that though I hated the Susan Roesgen’s story on my brother was treated I wanted to say that she gave the story she was given. Not many people knew my true brother, I did not really get to know the real him until a few years ago. Back in high school he did the normal thing private school teenagers do, try to rebel. Like my cousin Kasey had said, he still liked all the things he had before, he just did not color his hair or wear manson shirts, but I had never seen him wear a manson shirt. The military just helped him get his life on track, which is something he needed. Joining the military is something he really wanted to do because he knew he had to straighten out his life. I spoke to him online after he was shipped to Iraq and even though he wanted to leave there and be able to see his wife more than anything, he knew his job called for him to be in Iraq. It has been four months since he was killed and it is still difficult for me to even go to the cemetary or talk to his wife about it, whom I happen to live with. I will always miss him because he was my brother and I love him, but the piece was not about the true Jeremy Heines, but about the military side most knew.