Reminding the rest of us that lotteries are a tax on people who are bad at math, Tennessee is hip deep in raffles. To be fair, these new gambling events are all for the benefit of non-profits, such as schools, churches, and Enron. OK, not Enron.

One school is planning to give away thousands of dollars, based on where a cow leaves its mark. Another, for the fastest rubber shark to go down a river. Yet another has a helicopter involved. I miss bake sales.