It is now 20 minutes into the UPN9 (New York) news. The lead story? Woman drops cellphone on subway tracks, then gets hit by train when she trys to get it. There have been stories on a landlord who was stabbed, a cabby who was shot, two kids who were hit by a semi yestarday, if Robert Atkins died fat or not, and a few families that were cheated by a fake architect. There have been two tie-ins to “America’s Next Top Model”, two mentions of Will Smith kissing in a future UPN show, and two mentions of the SI swimsuit issue. Right now they are doing a “story” on “Sexually Transmitted Debt” aka, when your significant other is dating you for your money. This feature has lasted over 6 minutes.

Did they not know that there were two presidential primaries today? How about a bombing in Iraq that killed 50 people? Bird Flu in the US seems pulp-ie enough to cause fear…and China and Hong Kong have even banned some of our chicken exports. In fact, there has been no news that didn’t tie into Sex, New York or New Jersey. I know Americans are short sighted about the world, but are New Yorkers so myopic that even national news stories don’t even get 10 seconds?

It is now 29 minutes in. 3rd ANTM tie-in, 3rd mention of Will Smith, 4 minute swimsuit issue piece…still no actual news.

Thank heavens I have the “Daily Show”, otherwise I would lose my faith in TV news.